Who hasn't been bitten by the DIY bug at one time in their life? Who hasn't been a victim of Murphy's Laws at least once?
No matter what type of DIY project you take on, there are just some things they don't mention in the tutorials...
Like the fact that whoever he is, Murphy is right there making your life harder than it should be with these inevitable laws:
No matter what type of DIY project you take on, there are just some things they don't mention in the tutorials...
Like the fact that whoever he is, Murphy is right there making your life harder than it should be with these inevitable laws:
1. If It Sounds Easy...
It probably isn't. Or at least not as easy as the tutorial makes it sound. For example, someone may say:
"Just sand it and paint it!"
And six days later you are still sanding because you don't know what the hell was on that furniture, but its not letting go without a fight.
2. If There is an Easier Way to Do It...
Then you won't find out until after you did it the hard way. Or maybe you will be almost done doing it the hard way.
At which point finding the supplies to do it the easy way just seems pointless.
But that is okay, because...
3. If You Need It...
You won't have it immediately on hand.
Ever come across those posts that swear that "everyone has these ingredients/tools in their house right now"? And you know you should have it in your house too. You did...last week.
But now you can't recall if you used it, threw it away, or let someone else borrow it.
Cheap, fast, and easy just became a trip to the store.
And of course...
4. No Matter What You Need...
The store will be out of stock. Or maybe they never had this item, ever, and they just give you a weird look when you ask for it.
I mean, why would you expect a hardware store to have sandpaper?
5. If You Are Ready to Begin Your Project...
Everything else in the world will suddenly need your attention. This is truly ironic, since most people start a DIY project out of complete boredom.
As soon as you shake a can of spray paint though, errands will need running, phones will need answering, and kids will need cleaning. Long lost relatives will appear, everything will need finding and you will probably have to go to the DMV too.
Also, something that's more important than your project will probably break (washing machine, water heater...) You may be forced to spend days or weeks with all of your supplies spread across the house or yard while you DIY that project first.
So, naturally, the next law states that:
6. The Minute You Have Everything Out of Place...
Everyone will want to visit.
Who visits, and for what reason, depends on what type of project you have started. You can almost always guarantee that anyone who shows up will not intend to help, and if you have anything dangerous strewn around your floor (tools, cleaners, explosives), they will bring small children and/or small pets.
If the items on the floor are breakable, visitors will appear with their new elephant or other large, clumsy, stompy thing they just got.
7. If You Drop Something...
And it is solid...it will roll or bounce through some unseen portal, never to return. Or it will lodge itself under the heaviest piece of furniture.
If its liquid, it is most likely to splatter onto whichever surface is the least likely to survive being splattered. Amazingly, this surface doesn't even have to be in the same room where the dropped liquid occurs.
If you drop acetone, it will somehow travel as mystic vapor through 6 rooms and destroy a bit of finish on your heirloom furniture.
Because...
8. The More Beloved an Item Is...
The more likely you are to drop it. (Or drop something on it.)
A ugly piece of clutter that you hate can survive a 20 foot fall onto bricks. A piece of clutter that you love, made from the same materials, won't survive a two inch fall onto plush carpet.
9. The More You Paid For Something...
The less likely it is to work.
Not so much big ticket items. But things like that $5 roll of deluxe painter's tape that won't stick to anything but itself.
10. No Matter How Perfect the Result...
There will always be one tiny flaw that absolutely drives you crazy.
But at least you know who to blame. Murphy. Its never easy to DIY when Murphy is your partner.
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