"Twins? Wow...you sure knew how to save time, huh?"
There is just something about twins that mystifies people. They are a pretty cool phenomenon.
The funny thing about having multiples (I'm sure moms of triplets and more draw a lot of attention too!) is that they tend to attract strange questions and weird comments.
You get tons of these from strangers when you are pregnant with twins, and you think it is probably over once the babies are born.
Now that my twin girls are 3, and look very different from each other, I don't get quite as many comments and questions while out and about.
But I've recorded some of my favorite (?) weird remarks from strangers, from twin pregnancy to the present day to share with you.
(If you already have twins, feel free to laugh, groan or nod your head. I'm sure you've heard at least one of these!)
(And you can get some free printable diaper bag tags farther down. You'll see why...)
Let's start with the harmless, but kind of repetitive questions and remarks first:
1. Are You Sure It's Twins/Just Twins?
The first version usually comes before you look pregnant enough, and the second comes when people think you look a bit too pregnant.
2. Wow, What Will You Do If There Is a Third One In There?
Gosh. I dunno. Have triplets? :)
3. Do Twins Run In Your/Your Husband's Family?
Nope. They gallop. (In mine)
Seriously. There are seven or eight sets in the family today that we know of, and there were several other twin pregnancy losses. Who knows how many there were back before people wrote this stuff down!
Oddly, we have a pretty equal balance of identical and fraternal sets. Mine are fraternal and genetics are definitely to blame for the hyper-fertility.
I think you actually get this question for the rest of your life. I started hearing it at that first, 8 week scan, and still hear it today.
4. Is There Enough Room For Them To Finish Growing??
When you are five months pregnant and look like you are 13 months pregnant, people start to worry a bit for you.
5. Did You Plan on Twins?
And then we get into the comments/questions that were just a little bit personal or very strange:
6. Which Fertility Clinic Do You Use?
Had this one asked before and after the twins were born by total strangers. As if there was no other option. And they didn't believe me I told them I didn't use one.
7. How Do You Want Them to Be Born?
Ideally, I want to beam out of my body and take a long nap in a state of pain-free stasis while they magically appear without any damage to my physical body.
If that isn't an option then "fast" is the next best thing. :D
8. Can You Feel Them Kicking?
Uh...yes. Twins kick just like any other babies.
9. Whoa. You are HUGE. It Looks Like You Eat All the Time!
Thanks. And well, may the bird of paradise fly up your nose, too. I probably wouldn't have been so cranky about this remark except I was fasting for that damn glucose test. And even on good days I could barely eat anything and keep it down. Grr.
10. Did You Use a Surrogate?
Lol. I'm 7 months pregnant with twins. Oh...you are serious?
11. What Does It Feel Like to Be Pregnant With Twins?
I think some things you just have to experience for yourself. Even other twin moms can't agree on what it feels like, because everyone is different.
Also, that was a man that asked that question. So really, I don't think he could relate even after I told him to imagine having two anvils sitting on his ovaries... :D
If you wanna know the details though, here is the post I wrote on the truths about twin pregnancy they don't tell you in the books!
Yes, I did. We planned on a natural birth, but both twins were laying sideways, so we were also prepared for the c-section too.
I also needed extra surgery for cysts and endometriosis, so they were gonna cut me open in four or five days after birth anyhow.
BUT...there are plenty of twins that are born the other way too. (and also some that are born BOTH ways, which I definitely did not want!)
13. Were They Preemies? Why Did You Have Them So Early?
Yes they were. They actually weren't very early, and it just happened. Because twins like to show up early for the party most of the time.
(There were a couple of people who asked this like I should have known better than go into labor early.)
14. Is It Hard to Care for Two Babies At Once?
This is such a tough one. Because again. Different for everyone.
I had an older daughter, so yes, it seemed like a lot more work to care for two at once.
However, people who have twins before having singles usually say they don't even realize it is more work because they don't have anything to compare it too.
16. Well, It Can't Be Any Different Than Having Kids Who Are 15/16/18/20 Months Apart, Right?
I can't say for sure...because I've not parented two single children who were those ages apart. BUT...unless your 18 month old is still an immobile, 4 pound ball of fury that can't sit up, or eat solids, then I am going to say it is different.
It might not be any easier or any harder, but I'm sure it is very different.
17. I'm Sure It's the Same as Caring for a Baby and a Dog at the Same Time.
What? No. It isn't.
I mean unless your baby and your dog are both breastfeeding, wearing diapers, teething and crying all night with colic. Then I GUESS it's the same?
18. Wait, If They Aren't Identical...How Can You Be Sure They Are Twins?
This was my favoritest question ever.
I mean, I guess they could have snuck in a spare baby while I was behind the operating curtain.
But I just sorta guess they are twins, because you know...they boarded and departed the mommy-train at the same time?
19. Are They Real/Natural Twins?
One is. The other one is an android.
She is actually polyester because synthetic twins last longer.
You get all kinds of variations on this one. What they want to know is they juicy stuff about conception. Which is totally weird coming from random people in the grocery store.
20. If They Are Both Girls, How Can You Be Sure They Aren't Identical?
21. Why Did You Have Two Girls Instead of A Girl and a Boy?
Because the Drive-Thru at McBabies got our order wrong. They left out the fries, too.
22. Oh No! Two Girls?
Yes. I know. I should have pre-ordered while boys were still in stock. Bad planning on my part.
23. What Would You Have Done If They Had Found Triplets In There?
Bought a milk goat and an extra case of diapers on the way home?
23. What Did It Feel Like to Push Two Babies Out of One V*****?
Holy crap, lady! Did you just ask me that in the middle of the produce section?
24. Do They Have the Same Father?
Gosh. I sure hope so. Otherwise someone owes me some child support.
25. Which One Was Planned?
Um. That one. No wait...that one.
Really? How the heck am I supposed to answer that??
26. Will They Look Alike When They Grow Up?
I sure hope not. I have enough trouble keeping up with who is making what mischief! But I'm going to guess...no. Because they are not identical.
27. Oh How Cute! What Do Twins Eat?
Lol. The usual. Pears. Applesauce. Toes. Board books. Dryer lint. Each other.
28. How Do You _____Twins?
Fill in the blank:
- Travel with
- Sleep with
- Change diapers for
- Give baths to
- Grocery shop with
- Tell apart
29. JUST Twins? My Best Friend Had Those
Darn! I will never be in the Guiness book of world records now!
Also, I didn't know I was competing with your friend/aunt/cousin/grandmother/neighbor, but I'm terribly sorry to disappoint.
30. How Many Times Did You Have to "Do It" to Get Pregnant With Twins?
Do what? *innocent stare*
You have to hear this one at least once (or a hundred times per week).
Are They Twins?
Nah! I just carry a spare baby (in a matching outfit and matching carseat!) everywhere around in case I misplace one!
If you want to just avoid that question (again), here is a free printable! Just cut out your tags and laminate for your stroller, carseats, diaper bag etc!